We commit the mistake of not making demands on them and consequently we allow them to take the easy way out.

I know parents who do the assignments for their kids. Instead of letting them struggle with their academics, they do it for them. It's a big mistake. First, they don't learn as well. Second, they get used to someone doing it for them. Third, when they get a good grade, they know that their mark does not reflect their work and is truly a subtle form of cheating.

There are parents who do not ask their children to do some chores around the house. They grow up not knowing how to work and some become lazy and pleasure oriented. Later on, when they need to join the workforce they find it difficult to get down to business and put in a hard day's work.

What requires a struggle is disagreeable to the child raised in this way. He is used to getting what he wants without much effort and continues to have that same expectation.

He finds it difficult to persevere. If there is no immediate success, he walks away. Despite this, he has a need for immediate gratification and when he does not get it, he is frustrated and angry. He then resorts to any means to get what he wants. You don't give him money. He will steal it. He will find a way by hook or by crook to get what he wants, even if it means breaking the rules or the law.

Parents need to teach their children a work ethic. They need to make them accountable. In my house, if my daughters did not work, they were denied an allowance. No work, no pay. Today, as professionals, they work long hours without complaint and are grateful for the tough line we took.

All upbringing should have an eye for the future. Keep observing your children and ask yourself if this behavior, continued into the future, will contribute to their happiness and success. With that in mind, you will make the right decisions.

If you have problems about drugs, alcohol and behavior/attitude call my office at 8206107 or 8251771 or e-mail me at gvcbuenca@vasia.com or write me at P.O. Box 2099 MCPO, Makati City.